Can we take positivity too far?

Many years ago, there was a period of dislocation in my work life and I was suddenly scrabbling to relaunch my independent career with no work on the horizon. At the time we had very little savings and I was the main earner for our household of four. I was feeling worried and anxious.

A friend, who lived abroad, was briefly in the country and we had a chance to catch up. She asked how I was, and I started to explain my financial worries and work concerns. Abruptly she cut across me to say, ‘But when you’re working you earn good money, right?’

I can only assume this was meant make me feel better, but it had the opposite effect. I felt like I’d been slapped across the face and got the clear message that she wasn’t interested in hearing about my feelings and problems. It being clear that I wasn’t going to get the sympathetic hearing I was seeking, I moved the conversation on. But I never forgot the experience, it hurt.

When this happened, I couldn’t quite put my finger on what had gone wrong, given that her comment was, relatively speaking, correct. I didn’t know how to name what had happened, but I can now identify it as an experience of ‘toxic positivity.’

Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity insists on ‘looking on the bright side’ but in a way that is disconnected from the current context, that dismisses the validity of someone’s current feelings in favour of a demand that they have ‘happy emotions.’

As well as doing it to others we can do it to ourselves, feeling we have to be positive about everything all the time. This can spill into a belief that we have to deny feelings that are difficult to deal with such as anger and hurt, that we should be happy all the time and at if we aren’t, something is wrong.

In his recent book Sukhvinder Pabial examines how our awareness of the many benefits of positivity, and desire to help people experience positivity, can, through a misinterpretation of the idea of positivity and abuse of the idea, spill over into toxic positivity and more.

The Positive Continuum model

This model (reprinted with the author, Sukhvinder Pabial’s permission) starts by identifying how when we are working effectively with positivity, events can be helpfully reframed in a more positive way, creating motivation and inspiration and enabling people to move on.

A lot of coaching works to reframe like this. The hurt or difficult situation is acknowledged, and empathy demonstrated, before a sensitive attempt is made to help the person start to look at the situation differently. Importantly, this helping isn’t based on ‘telling’ people there is a silver lining, but by helping them to find, see or create such for themselves. Appreciative Inquiry works at a similar way for coaching and larger systems.

Toxic positivity by contrast is defined as ‘uncalled for solutions and lack of empathy,’ which characterises the response of my friend to my situation. While it might arise because someone is short on empathy, I wonder whether this behaviour is sometimes exhibited by people, perhaps aspiring practitioners, who have grasped a general message about how ‘feeling good is good for you’, but lack the skills to apply it in a given situation.

Relentless Positivity

Sukhvinder extends the model to identify yet another positivity position, that of ‘relentless positivity’ which is ‘persistent and unregulated positivity’.

There was a fad a while back for organizations to issue statements such as ‘there is no such word as “can’t” in this organization!’ This would be an example of a culture of relentless positivity. Bad news is just unacceptable and not heard. As Sukhvinder explains, it is pushed back against with ‘we have to make this happen’, and ‘we must find solutions’ type statements.

There is a fantastic example of this: the film documentary of the fiasco of a the Fyre festival: FYRE: the greatest party that never happened. For those who haven’t yet seen it, the organiser resists all the attempts of experienced festival organisers to highlight various problems and issues that need to be addressed, insisting everything will work. He resists all attempts to call off the festival in good time to limit the PR damage and in the event nothing works and it’s a disaster, so he ends up cancelling it so late some guests have already arrived. That is relentless positivity in action.

I have occasionally come across an organisational culture that demonstrates relentless positivity in another way where its just not permissible to have, or to acknowledge in others, difficult feelings. You could call it happy, clappy. This type of culture makes it very hard to have reconciling and healing conversations as the feelings that need to be named and addressed to affect restoration of a relationship can’t be acknowledged in the first place!

The time continuum

These positions are represented across a timeframe. So ‘reframing’ is a specific activity in a specific context. Toxic positivity can be a repeated, habitual way of responding when others experience problems and difficulties, while relentless positivity is a sustained culture or way of behaving that denies the possibility of the non-positive outcome.

As our awareness of the benefits of positivity grows, along with our eagerness to help everyone benefit from experiencing positivity, I find this model very useful in alerting us to the dangers of unthinking and unregulated attempts to ‘be positive’ or to inject positivity into a situation.

My thanks to Sukhvinder for his insights into this interesting area. The model and diagram come from his excellent and highly recommended book The Resilience Handbook, available from our online store.

Other Resources

Sarah Lewis is the owner and principal psychologist of Appreciating Change. She is author of ‘Co-Creating Planning Teams For Dialogic OD’, published by BMI Publishing, ‘Positive Psychology in Business’, published by Pavillion, ‘Positive Psychology at Work’ and ‘Positive Psychology and Change’ both published by Wiley. She is also the lead author of 'Appreciative Inquiry for Change Management', published by Kogan Page.

APPRECIATING CHANGE CAN HELP

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organisations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership, Culture change and with employee Engagement.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715. A selection of strength card packs are available from our online store.

If you want to know more about implementing approaches and processes that positively affect people’s happiness, engagement, motivation, morale, productivity and work relationships, see Sarah’s positive psychology books.

More blog posts categorised as ‘Thought Provoking’ 

Five Tips For Getting Started With Positive Psychology At Work

Positive psychology is the new domain of psychology that burst upon the world when Martin Seligman coined the phrase at his inaugural speech as the President of the American Psychological Association in 1998.

He issued a rallying call for research into human success. He wanted us to know more about what helps us excel, in health, in sport, in achievement. His work, and that of others who responded to the call, has been picked up by institutions as varied as the American Military and the education system. We know more now than we ever did about how to help people live happy and successful lives. The ideas have spread to Governments, with our own deciding to take regular measures of national wellbeing as well as national wealth.

Positive psychology can be applied in the workplace. Its successful application will help you develop an engaged, productive, healthy workforce, and to create a great place to work. Here are some direct and practical ideas of how to apply the best of the results of the research into positive psychology to your workplace.

Losada and Heaphy in 2004 demonstrated that feeling good is good for us. In their research the teams that offered each other at least three times more praise than criticism were the most successful. Since then Fredrickson has made a study of what good emotions do for us, and Shawn Achor has brought all the research together in his great book ‘the happiness advantage’ also available on youtube as a Tedx talk. The result is conclusive: happiness leads to success. So, how can you help your people feel good?

Feelin' Good

1. Start meetings with a round of success stories.

Before you get into the meat of the meeting, usually a litany of problems and challenges, start by giving people the opportunity to share the best of their week.

2. Build the sharing of great stories about the achievements and success of the organization into your induction programme.

Get the owners of the stories to share their best moments of working for your company. Even better, equip your new recruits with appreciative questions about when people have been most proud to be part of the organization, or their greatest achievement at work, and send them off to interview people. This will leaven the dough of getting to grips with the staff handbook and inspire your new recruits.

3. Educate your managers about this research.

Too many managers are quick to offer critical feedback and slow to offer praise, hoarding it as a scarce resource. Explain that they need to keep the ratio of positive to negative comments and experiences above 3:1 and preferable 6:1 if they want to get the best from people.

4. Give them the tools to do this. 

Particularly, introduce the concept of diamond feedback and train people in its use. Diamond feedback is when you both report the behaviour you saw that you thought was good, and give the praise. E.g. ‘ I listened to how you handled that customer call. The way you admitted our errors and thanked her for letting us know was really good. I could hear that you saved a customer we might have lost. That’s worth a lot of money to us. Well done, that was great work.’

5. Help people use their natural strengths

Another finding coming through from the positive psychology research is that helping people understand what their natural strengths are and how to use them aids performance. Using strengths is energising and engaging for people. This means they find work that calls on their particular and unique strengths profile motivating. The more you can help people find ways to use their strengths at work, the more likely it is that they will become self-motivated in their work. But first they need to know them.

How You Can Do This

There are a number of strengths identifying tools around, particular the StrengthScope psychometric, which also has a great set of support cards. However in a low tech way we can just ask people ‘When are you at your most energised at work?’’ What feels really easy and enjoyable for you that others sometimes struggle with?’ and most interesting of all ‘what can you almost not, not do?’

Once you know your own strengths, find ways to use them more at work and, equally important, ways to do less of the work that drains you of energy. Find someone to delegate it to for whom it plays to their strengths. We’re not all detail people, but some of us love combing through data with a fine tooth-comb. Reconfigure how you achieve the objective so it plays to your strengths. Pair up with someone whose strengths complement yours. Allocate tasks in your team by strengths rather than by role and delegate by volunteer rather than imposition when possible.

Make sure other people know your strengths, so that they can call on you for opportunities that play to your strengths.

Positivity and strengths are probably two of the headline findings from the positive psychology research that are easily applicable to the workplace setting. However there are also other emerging findings that are of interest. For example, did you know that how you respond to someone’s good news is as important for relationship building as how you respond to their bad news? Apparently so. To encourage positive relationships at work, help people to be actively positive in their response to other people’s good news. This means not just saying ‘that’s great’, but actively inquiring into how they did it, how they feel and how they hope to build on it.

And finally, you may have noticed how some people are just people that other people like to have around. They give people around them a general good feeling. People are attracted to them. The research confirms the existence of such people at the centre of networks of positive energy. They have the knack of giving people little boosts of good feeling in their conversations or interactions with them, and they leave feeling better than when they arrived. These people are gold dust in terms of organisational motivation and performance. Notice who they are, place them strategically in projects and initiatives to which you want to attract other people, for example.

Futher Reading

This article has barely scratched the surface of the interesting research and ideas emanating from this field. The book ‘Positive Psychology At Work’ explains these and other ideas in more detail. For these with an aversion to books, we also have a set of development cards that offer bite-sized explanations of twenty core positive psychology concepts, with questions to help understand them and suggestions of how to integrate the concept at work.

Other Resources

More on using Appreciative Inquiry and other positive psychology techniques to boost engagement at work can be found in Sarah’s book Positive Psychology at Work.

See more 'How To' guides in the Knowledge Warehouse.

Appreciating Change Can Help

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organizations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership , Engagement and Culture change.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715

Using Positive Psychology to Produce High Performing Teams

What is positive psychology?

Coined as a phrase by Martin Seligman as President of the American Psychological Association in 1998, positive psychology is the psychology of exceptionally good living. It embraces areas of study such as happiness; human flourishing; exceptional wellbeing; energy and vitality, meaningfulness and achievement. The switch in focus from psychology’s traditional concern with when things go wrong for people (mental or physical ill-health, poor educational performance etc.) to when things go right for people has resulted in a burst of new streams of research and new knowledge about the psychology of high performance in people.

Three things that make a difference

Three key areas of positive psychology that are relevant to the challenge of team performance are; positivity, strengths and motivation.

Positivity

Research in this area can be seen as a quest to answer such questions as: ‘What good are good emotions? What purpose do they serve? Why do we have them?’ In 2004 Losada and Heaphy discovered that a high ratio of positive to negative comments amongst team members in meetings was a reliable predictor of high performance. They postulate that positive comments lead to positive emotional reactions and we know that positive emotional states are correlated with many group phenomena such as sociability and social bonding; openness to information, creativity, coping with complexity, tenacity and motivation, and virtuous behaviour (patience, generosity etc.).

All of this acts on the group dynamics in a way that enhances connectivity amongst group members, greater creative in thinking and an increased ability to act in harmony with other group members and group objectives even when not in direct contact with each other. They call this dynamic ‘synchronicity’. They found that for these effects to be produced, the ratio of positive to negative comments and experiences needs to be between 3:1 to 12:1 positive to negative. Beyond this ratio there is a danger of a lack of critical examination of ideas.

What does this mean?

This means that if we can develop the linguistic habits in our team meetings of: building on the best in the ideas of others rather than knocking them down wholesale; expressing appreciation of helpful comments or contributions; thanking people for pointing out flaws or problems with ideas; laughing together and so on, we can have a direct impact on the performance of the team over time.

Strengths

It has always been recognised that people vary in their innate abilities. However our emphasis in the workplace has often been on trying to help people develop greater skill in their weaker areas. More recently a school of thought has grown up suggesting that helping people become better at what they are already good at is a more effective investment. The argument is that a natural strength plus skill in using it becomes a talent. Helping people understand their particular strengths, and then developing their skill and judgement in using it is being revealed to positively affect: performance, wellbeing, goal attainment, energy levels, authenticity, morale, motivation, fulfilment at work and meaningfulness.

What does this mean?

This means that at least some of your development effort should be focused on helping people understand their strengths profile. That consideration should be given to fitting jobs to people’s strengths profiles rather than fitting people to rigid job profiles. That teams should distribute tasks by strengths rather than necessarily by role. It seems likely that the more people are able to use their natural skills at work – a process that people find satisfying and energizing – the more likely they are to deliver dedication and high performance.

Motivation

Motivation is a fascinating topic. Why are we motivated to do some things and not others? Why do we find doing some things so rewarding that we will do it for nothing, just for pleasure and other things you couldn’t pay us enough to do? The answers to these questions are many, but a key thought is that it is related to our own unique personality, physiology, history and context. In this way motivation can be understood as a relationship between people’s unique needs and values and the environments that satisfy them. Motivation is a response made to an environment that provides opportunities, invitations and incitements to do things that the individual finds motivating. It seems we are motivated to use our strengths and talents because doing so makes us feel ‘our best selves’: energised, motivated, good about our selves and so able to be at our best with others. If we can find opportunities to use our strengths and talents, we are likely to feel motivated.

What does this mean?

This highlights that motivation is an individual process. Teams have to somehow create opportunities for everyone to feel motivated. This means something in the team process, goal or environment must produce opportunities for people to achieve things desirable to them (their needs and values), and to engage their strengths (energised, committed, meaningful). Appreciative Inquiry as a process facilitates both of these aspects of team working. The discovery phase helps groups and individuals identify existing strengths. The dream phase allows all voices to contribute to the creation of desirable images of the future. While the destiny phase encourages people to volunteer to create movement and progress in areas or projects that are motivating to them.

So how can I use positive psychology to help my team deliver high performance?

·      Encourage a positive atmosphere with a good ratio of positive to negative comment

·      Help individuals identify their strengths and enable them to use them in the team endeavour

·      Use appreciative inquiry processes to help the team develop a co-created image of the future state towards which they are working, and enable them to contribute to its achievement by using their unique strengths.

Further reading

Lewis, S., Passmore, J. and Cantore, S., 2007. Appreciative Inquiry For Change Management: Using AI To Facilitate Organisational Development. Kogan Page. London

Lewis, S.,  2011 Positive Psychology at Work: How Positive Leadership and Appreciative Inquiry Create Inspiring Organizations. Wiley-Blackwell. Chichester UK

Losada, M. and Heaphy, E., 2004. The Role Of Positivity And Connectivity In The Performance Of Business Teams: A Nonlinear Model, American Behavioral Scientist, 47, pp. 740-765.

Appreciating Change Can Help

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organizations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership , Engagement and Culture change.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715