Can we take positivity too far?

Many years ago, there was a period of dislocation in my work life and I was suddenly scrabbling to relaunch my independent career with no work on the horizon. At the time we had very little savings and I was the main earner for our household of four. I was feeling worried and anxious.

A friend, who lived abroad, was briefly in the country and we had a chance to catch up. She asked how I was, and I started to explain my financial worries and work concerns. Abruptly she cut across me to say, ‘But when you’re working you earn good money, right?’

I can only assume this was meant make me feel better, but it had the opposite effect. I felt like I’d been slapped across the face and got the clear message that she wasn’t interested in hearing about my feelings and problems. It being clear that I wasn’t going to get the sympathetic hearing I was seeking, I moved the conversation on. But I never forgot the experience, it hurt.

When this happened, I couldn’t quite put my finger on what had gone wrong, given that her comment was, relatively speaking, correct. I didn’t know how to name what had happened, but I can now identify it as an experience of ‘toxic positivity.’

Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity insists on ‘looking on the bright side’ but in a way that is disconnected from the current context, that dismisses the validity of someone’s current feelings in favour of a demand that they have ‘happy emotions.’

As well as doing it to others we can do it to ourselves, feeling we have to be positive about everything all the time. This can spill into a belief that we have to deny feelings that are difficult to deal with such as anger and hurt, that we should be happy all the time and at if we aren’t, something is wrong.

In his recent book Sukhvinder Pabial examines how our awareness of the many benefits of positivity, and desire to help people experience positivity, can, through a misinterpretation of the idea of positivity and abuse of the idea, spill over into toxic positivity and more.

The Positive Continuum model

This model (reprinted with the author, Sukhvinder Pabial’s permission) starts by identifying how when we are working effectively with positivity, events can be helpfully reframed in a more positive way, creating motivation and inspiration and enabling people to move on.

A lot of coaching works to reframe like this. The hurt or difficult situation is acknowledged, and empathy demonstrated, before a sensitive attempt is made to help the person start to look at the situation differently. Importantly, this helping isn’t based on ‘telling’ people there is a silver lining, but by helping them to find, see or create such for themselves. Appreciative Inquiry works at a similar way for coaching and larger systems.

Toxic positivity by contrast is defined as ‘uncalled for solutions and lack of empathy,’ which characterises the response of my friend to my situation. While it might arise because someone is short on empathy, I wonder whether this behaviour is sometimes exhibited by people, perhaps aspiring practitioners, who have grasped a general message about how ‘feeling good is good for you’, but lack the skills to apply it in a given situation.

Relentless Positivity

Sukhvinder extends the model to identify yet another positivity position, that of ‘relentless positivity’ which is ‘persistent and unregulated positivity’.

There was a fad a while back for organizations to issue statements such as ‘there is no such word as “can’t” in this organization!’ This would be an example of a culture of relentless positivity. Bad news is just unacceptable and not heard. As Sukhvinder explains, it is pushed back against with ‘we have to make this happen’, and ‘we must find solutions’ type statements.

There is a fantastic example of this: the film documentary of the fiasco of a the Fyre festival: FYRE: the greatest party that never happened. For those who haven’t yet seen it, the organiser resists all the attempts of experienced festival organisers to highlight various problems and issues that need to be addressed, insisting everything will work. He resists all attempts to call off the festival in good time to limit the PR damage and in the event nothing works and it’s a disaster, so he ends up cancelling it so late some guests have already arrived. That is relentless positivity in action.

I have occasionally come across an organisational culture that demonstrates relentless positivity in another way where its just not permissible to have, or to acknowledge in others, difficult feelings. You could call it happy, clappy. This type of culture makes it very hard to have reconciling and healing conversations as the feelings that need to be named and addressed to affect restoration of a relationship can’t be acknowledged in the first place!

The time continuum

These positions are represented across a timeframe. So ‘reframing’ is a specific activity in a specific context. Toxic positivity can be a repeated, habitual way of responding when others experience problems and difficulties, while relentless positivity is a sustained culture or way of behaving that denies the possibility of the non-positive outcome.

As our awareness of the benefits of positivity grows, along with our eagerness to help everyone benefit from experiencing positivity, I find this model very useful in alerting us to the dangers of unthinking and unregulated attempts to ‘be positive’ or to inject positivity into a situation.

My thanks to Sukhvinder for his insights into this interesting area. The model and diagram come from his excellent and highly recommended book The Resilience Handbook, available from our online store.

Other Resources

Sarah Lewis is the owner and principal psychologist of Appreciating Change. She is author of ‘Co-Creating Planning Teams For Dialogic OD’, published by BMI Publishing, ‘Positive Psychology in Business’, published by Pavillion, ‘Positive Psychology at Work’ and ‘Positive Psychology and Change’ both published by Wiley. She is also the lead author of 'Appreciative Inquiry for Change Management', published by Kogan Page.

APPRECIATING CHANGE CAN HELP

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organisations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership, Culture change and with employee Engagement.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715. A selection of strength card packs are available from our online store.

If you want to know more about implementing approaches and processes that positively affect people’s happiness, engagement, motivation, morale, productivity and work relationships, see Sarah’s positive psychology books.

More blog posts categorised as ‘Thought Provoking’ 

Small Changes that make a Difference

I noticed a different flavour to the usual January blitz of ‘New Year, New You’ filler in the papers this year. Calls to action were hedged with novel warnings about not being over ambitious, about starting small, suggesting only working on a few goals at a time not a complete list of life transformation. Hurrah, I thought! At last, some psychology about change and habit formation is getting through.

On the first day of the new year, the Guardian ran an article, ‘100 small changes that really work’. The 100 entries that make up the article were sent in by experts and readers. Tried and tested then. I found it interesting reading and was delighted to find that some of them I had discovered myself.

Here are my top ten.

1.     Not setting a morning alarm. This is a bit of a cheat as it’s something I have done myself since I have regarded myself as ‘semi-retired’ and let myself off my weekday 7.00 a.m. alarm. At first, I found the extent of the resultant sleeping-in so alarming that I did set a ‘that’s enough’ 8.00 a.m. alarm, but I did treat myself to a new alarm clock with a SAD light that gradually lights up for the half-hour before the gently increasing sound of an Amazonian dawn chorus kicks in at the allotted time. Now I seem to have exhausted my sleep deficit and regularly wake before the alarm. I absolutely agree with the quoted Guardian reader who said that it means ‘I don’t start the day with the hideous stress of the alarm going off’. Highly recommended if your lifestyle allows.

2.     Leaving the phone downstairs at night. Already do it.

3.     Making homemade soup. Another one great winter idea I discovered myself. I use a soup maker and make two batches at the weekends but only when it feels doable, so it doesn’t become a chore. I bag it up in Lakeland soup ‘n’ sauce bags (perfect two portion size) and freeze. I can have a hot, quick, nutritious and tasty lunch any day of the week as long I remember to take out it the night before. You can reheat from frozen but it’s a faff.

4.     Walking outdoors every day. I try! I try! It very cold right now though! And the daylight is so short. I know it’s good for me, but it is a habit that lapses. Also, it’s not a small change in my book because it takes time.

5.     Buying a rowing machine. This isn’t on the list but is one of mine. A fold away one cost about £200. Use it once or twice a week. 4 kms. Headphones on to loud rock music. Walk to it from the bedroom. Takes 25ish minutes. Terrific. Works up a good sweat. Gets blood flowing, heart beating. Can breathlessly sing along. Can think about day ahead. Much nicer than standing bike for some reason. Shower. Then coffee. Ready start working day. And no going out in the cold. Love it! Easy cardio-vascular activity!

6.     The squeezy app. If you are a woman of a certain age with a dodgy pelvic floor this app is great. It reminds you to do your squeezes, and it counts and times them for you. With practice, you can do them while reading the paper, eating or probably answering emails. Have been using for months. It really has become a habit. Highly recommended.

7.     Lighting candles. I have a horde of candles. Never seemed to find the occasion to light them. Now, when doing my ‘creative writing’, I light a candle. I love the scent and the flicker of the flame. I think it acts both as a signal that I am now entering a different mental space, and is calming in some way – maybe the scent?

8.     Getting hearing aids. Been there, done that. They are better than the alternative. And if you pay the money, you can get much more attractive ones. My current dinky red and white ones bring me joy when I see them in the morning. Sadly, I can’t say the same for the depressing grey NHS ones I am currently temporarily having to wear!

9.     Exercise snacks. Great idea – doing squats while you wait for the kettle to boil type thing. Super idea. If only the dishwasher didn’t offer itself for stacking, unstacking, or refilling with rinse aid, or salt during this snatch of time. Might work up to this one.

10.  Focussing on joy rather than willpower. I realise I have been moving this way for years. And I used to be someone very good on willpower. Like the reader quoted in the article says, I do exercise I enjoy. I eat food I enjoy. I do work I enjoy.

And a few that I don’t see working for me

Following the one-minute rule. This is the idea that if something will take less than a minute, answering an email, hanging up the laundry, then you should do it straight-away. It is supposed to improve productivity. Hmm... I could see a whole morning disappearing in one-minute tasks. And some of these things take brain power. I prefer to relegate them to ‘low quality’ time, and cluster them together.

Two-minute cold shower every morning. I’m definitely not hardcore enough for this.

Committing to intermittent fasting. I’ve read the research. I believe it’s good for you. And I’m not willing to put myself into deprivation mode. Too many diets over the years. Never again.

There are plenty more to inspire you in the original article, The Guardian, Monday 1st January 2024. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/jan/01/100-tiny-changes-to-transform-your-life-from-the-one-minute-rule-to-pyjama-yoga

Why not let us know if you find something that speaks to you?

Other Resources

Sarah Lewis is the owner and principal psychologist of Appreciating Change. She is author of ‘Co-Creating Planning Teams For Dialogic OD’, published by BMI Publishing, ‘Positive Psychology in Business’, published by Pavillion, ‘Positive Psychology at Work’ and ‘Positive Psychology and Change’ both published by Wiley. She is also the lead author of 'Appreciative Inquiry for Change Management', published by Kogan Page.

APPRECIATING CHANGE CAN HELP

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organisations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership, Culture change and with employee Engagement.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715. A selection of strength card packs are available from our online store.

If you want to know more about implementing approaches and processes that positively affect people’s happiness, engagement, motivation, morale, productivity and work relationships, see Sarah’s positive psychology books.

More blog posts categorised as ‘Thought Provoking’ 

Why Sexual Harassment is a Business Issue

Why Sexual Harassment is a Business Issue

Well, you have to ask - what is it with these men? Russell Brand publicly assaulting women on recorded TV. Bigwig Spanish Football Man grasping footballer firmly round the head to prevent avoidance of his unwanted smackeroo. Surgeons being touched up while scrubbed up. Kevin Spacey, the thinking women’s actor, revealed as a predator of young men? And on and on. Maybe rather than thinking this is aberrant behaviour we should just accept that...

Men + Power + Opportunity = Possibility of Sexual Abuse (That is, abuse, of power, of women, of men, of children, of position, underlings and on and on)

Are women exempt? Of course not, power is power. As Naomi Alderman’s fantastic book The Power makes clear. But, unlike in that science fiction, here on earth, in the main, men still hold the power.

So, very unpleasant for the abused, assaulted, shamed, harassed etc. person. But does it do any further damage?

The research answer is clear. Yes, it does.

What does it mean for business?

First some facts and figures. 60% of women report workplace sexual harassment. But an estimated 90% of incidents go unreported. Meanwhile approximately 94% of organizations have a policy about this in place. Hmm the maths is beyond me but, put these figures together, and I would say the policies just aren’t working.

There are psychological explanations for this, but common sense reveals them just as well. Speak up and you open yourself to other dangers. Danger of victim-shaming. Danger of job loss. Danger of escalation of the problem. Equally unhappy witnesses can find it too risky, too hard to find their voice for similar reasons. This isn’t individual aberrant men, or individual cowardly women, this is a workplace culture matter.

As for all change, first the business case needs to be made.

Business case for tackling workplace sexual harassment

Here are the costs of creating, allowing, facilitating or ignoring an environment where targeted and opportunistic sexual harassment is the norm.

Effects on the individual

While recognising that these vary person to person, these are common consequences...

·      Decreased psychological wellbeing.

·      Increase in depression and anxiety.

·      Social identity threat, the devaluation of a person’s social identity in a specific context (let’s call this not being taken seriously at work or being treated like a child).

·      Feeling silenced, unable to speak up about the abuse. This is associated with higher depersonalisation and emotional exhaustion. Burnout in other words.

For the business this means health costs, possibly employment costs if people quit, and decreases in performance. And I’d hazard that all those other things that help organizations excel, commitment, citizenship behaviour, being unpaid ambassadors of the brand, suffer.

Effect on the team

·      Decreased workgroup productivity and performance

·      Increased task conflict

·      Increased interpersonal conflict

·      Decreased team cohesion

For the business this all adds up to a loss of team functioning, productivity and performance

Effect on the organization can be Increased workplace withdrawal

·      Absenteeism

·      Failure to complete work

·      Avoiding other people at work

·      Not attending meetings

·      Not meeting deadlines that others rely on

·      Skipping work altogether

·      Failing work relationships

·      Avoiding certain areas at work

·      Avoiding certain people

·      Not joining certain project teams

·      Quitting

The business costs are clear to see

All of these survival-in-a-hostile environment behaviours have an effect on organisational social capital, goodwill reserves, productivity, profitability and general effective functioning.

In this way, sexual harassment at work effects everyone at work. Your bonus is at risk because of your colleague’s harassing behaviour. Your ability to shine at work is adversely affected if you can’t get stuff done, or you can’t attract a star to your special project. Your future reputation may be at risk when your association with an abuser later comes to light.

Protect your assets, learn how to intervene effectively. This is known as bystander intervention.

Effective Bystander Behaviour

I called out some unwanted touching when I was running a three-day workshop one time. The guy in question was ‘handsy’ with the young women on the course. Arms round shoulders, many hugs etc. It didn’t look right. I asked the young women about it. No, they didn’t like it, but he was a manager, and they weren’t, what could they do but grin and bear it? My male co-facilitator backed me, as did our employer, to do something.

We spoke to the man, just asking him to cease and desist. He vehemently denied there was a problem, he was just a touchy-feely friendly guy, everyone knew that! He chose to leave the training rather than change his behaviour. We spoke to the women in Human Resources at the company. Yes, they said, he’s well-known for this. They were glad we had called it.

What happened to the man after that I don’t know.

For myself, I do know it wasn’t a comfortable thing to do. I do know I couldn’t have not noticed it, felt uncomfortable about, felt compelled to try to stop it, because of my strong sense of right and wrong in this area. And I also know it went a whole lot better, and I felt a whole lot safer taking him on (he was a big chap) with another big man sitting beside me. And I was lucky to be working for a company that backed me.

A supportive culture

We could call this a supportive culture I was working in. One that was willing to take the risk of upsetting a client, a colleague who was willing to take the risk of disrupting the workshop, evoking emotional discomfort. The workshop went fine after that, by the way, and we didn’t lose the client. And I felt good about what I’d done.

This is known as bystander behaviour. With all those conditions in place I felt able, as a bystander (from memory he didn’t try it with me, but then, I was in a relative position of power), to call him out.

Eli Kolokowsky and Sharon Hong, from whose article the factual information in this one is gleaned, recommend training in effective bystander intervention as the way forward in this area. But along with the training in ‘how’ to intervene, people need everything in place that I had

·      A set of values that doesn’t see causal harassment as acceptable behaviour

·      Supportive colleagues

·      Supportive employer

To give them the courage to intervene.

Causal sexism, sexual harassment and abuse is everywhere. On the streets, on the buses, and for many in their homes. All we want is for women to be able to feel safe and to be able to give their best to work, and to themselves.

Maybe the workplace could become a safe space for women?

With many thanks to

Kolokowsky, Eli, and Sharon Hong. "Bystander Intervention: A Positive Approach to Sexual Harassment Prevention." Positive Organizational Psychology Interventions: Design and Evaluation (2021): 141-157.

Other Resources

Sarah Lewis is the owner and principal psychologist of Appreciating Change. She is author of ‘Co-Creating Planning Teams For Dialogic OD’, published by BMI Publishing, ‘Positive Psychology in Business’, published by Pavillion, ‘Positive Psychology at Work’ and ‘Positive Psychology and Change’ both published by Wiley. She is also the lead author of 'Appreciative Inquiry for Change Management', published by Kogan Page.

APPRECIATING CHANGE CAN HELP

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organisations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership, Culture change and with employee Engagement.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715. A selection of strength card packs are available from our online store.

If you want to know more about implementing approaches and processes that positively affect people’s happiness, engagement, motivation, morale, productivity and work relationships, see Sarah’s positive psychology books.

More blog posts categorised as ‘Diversity/Equality’ 

THREE CHANGE STRATEGIES IN ORGANIZATION DEVELOPMENT: DATA-BASED, HIGH ENGAGEMENT, AND GENERATIVE BY GERVASE R. BUSHE & SARAH LEWIS

Please find below an article co-authored by Gervase Bushe and myself recently accepted for publication in the Leadership and Organization Development Journal, Jan 2023 - Sarah Lewis

Bushe, G.R. and Lewis, S. (2023), "Three change strategies in organization development: data-based, high engagement and generative", Leadership & Organization Development Journal, Vol. ahead-of-print No. ahead-of-print. https://doi.org/10.1108/LODJ-05-2022-0229

Copyright © 2023, Emerald Publishing Limited. This AAM is provided for your own personal use only. It may not be used for resale, reprinting, systematic distribution, emailing, or for any other commercial purpose without the permission of the publisher.

Optimism

At some point or another in life, we all face hardships, encounter adversity, and have to deal with difficult situations. However, it’s how we view and talk about these adversities that influences our wellbeing and outlook on life - a bad experience for one person may be a learning experience for another. Positive psychologist Martin Seligman explains how it is possible to cultivate positive perspectives in his book Learned Optimism (1990).

Whether we are optimists or pessimists can be determined by the way that we talk about our experiences and the events that happen in our life, particularly adversities. Seligman describes this as our explanatory style, of which there are 3 aspects, permanence, pervasiveness and personalization. These are known as the 3 Ps.

The three P’s

Permanence relates to how long you believe any given situation will last. Those with a more pessimistic view in life will tend to describe bad situations as permanent and believe they will last forever. They will also typically describe good fortune as a fluke that won’t hang around. However, optimists will view setbacks as temporary, which enables the ability to accept situations for what they are and to adapt for the future instead of dwelling upon the past.

Pervasiveness is all about how widespread you perceive a situation to be. Pessimists will believe that bad experiences will affect all aspects of their life but that good things only happen in isolation. On the other hand, optimists will look at negative experiences as just one minor inconvenience instead of projecting it to all aspects of their life.

The personalization aspect of explanatory styles refers to the degree in which an individual attributes the cause of an event to internal or external factors. Optimists will consider external factors outside of their control when things go wrong and take credit for their personal achievements. Whereas a pessimist will look internally when things go wrong and believe the good times must be down to luck.

The benefits of being optimistic

There are many known benefits for looking on the bright side of life and being optimistic. Optimists are known to have higher levels of motivation and attainment, have better health and live longer than those who tend to see life through a more pessimistic lens. Studies into optimism and the perceived health benefits show that higher levels of optimism can be related to higher levels of engagement, less avoidance, better coping skills, and taking proactive steps to maintain a healthy lifestyle. On the other hand, pessimism has been related to health-damaging behaviours such as trying to avoid the reality of the situation (Segerstrom et al., 2010). In times of ill health, those of us who are optimistic may therefore take a more practical approach to recovery, rather than trying to avoid the situation or withdraw from those around them who may want to support us or be able to help. Optimists are also better able to put a positive spin on negative situations and experiences.

In the workplace optimism has been linked to higher levels of intrinsic motivation, goal focused behaviours, and a better ability to endure stressful situations. Optimistic persistence in pursuing goals may have beneficial consequences such as protection against negative effects and a greater likelihood of goal attainment (Solberg & Segerstrom, 2006).

So, the benefits of being optimistic seem clear, but what can we do ourselves to try and view things in a more positive light?

Can we learn to be more optimistic?

Being optimistic is not a fixed trait, individuals may have different levels of optimism at different points in their lives. It is also something that anyone can cultivate and change when they start to notice their automatic negative thoughts and begin to challenge them. People can work on changing their explanatory style once they teach themselves to become aware of the relationship between how they explain situations in their lives and how this affects the outcome of those situations.

Seligman’s adaptation of the ABC technique is a method which can be used to help cultivate optimism. The ABC technique stands for Adversity, Belief, and Consequence, and it is a way of breaking down our experiences in order to focus on how you get from adversity to belief. This stage of how you get from A to B is known as your explanatory style, and it is this that directly impacts how we react to situations. When we become aware of our pessimistic explanatory style, we can confront it and replace it with more optimistic thoughts.

For example, say you are struggling to complete a task at work because you believe it’s too complicated, this is the adversity. This adversity may lead you to the belief that you must be stupid because you can’t do it. Therefore, the consequence is that you stop trying to complete the task and your self-confidence may have taken a bit of a hit.

Sometimes it can be hard to break out of these negative thought cycles because they seem to happen without much conscious thought. However, there are some tips and tricks you can use to try and reframe how you think about those setbacks in life to work towards a more optimistic explanatory style.

1.     See setbacks as temporary

2.     Don’t over-generalize

3.     Shift your focus from things you can’t change to things you can.

4.     Take a balanced approach – there are always things you do well and always things you can change.

5.     Acknowledge your own contribution

It is possible for everyone to reap the benefits of thinking more optimistically by acknowledging pessimistic thought patterns and adjusting their mindset. Once we are able to reflect on how our negative thoughts influence the consequences we experience, we can teach ourselves to think more positively about ourselves, our abilities and the situation when we encounter adversity. It is these positive beliefs that will lead to positive consequences, making way for a more positive outlook on life.

Other Resources

Sarah Lewis is the owner and principal psychologist of Appreciating Change. She is author of ‘Co-Creating Planning Teams For Dialogic OD’, ‘Positive Psychology in Business’ ‘Positive Psychology at Work’ and ‘Positive Psychology and Change’ both published by Wiley. She is also the lead author of 'Appreciative Inquiry for Change Management'.

APPRECIATING CHANGE CAN HELP

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organisations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership, Culture change and with employee Engagement.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715. A selection of strength card packs are available from our online store.

If you want to know more about implementing approaches and processes that positively affect people’s happiness, engagement, motivation, morale, productivity and work relationships, see Sarah’s positive psychology books.

More blog posts categorised as ‘Positive Psychology’ 

Feeling Tired? You need more than just a good’s night sleep.

Did you know that there is more to being rested than just getting a good night’s sleep? Dr Dalton-Smith has identified seven different forms of fatigue. Each one offers a different path to feeling restored, rested and rebooted!

Mental Fatigue

Mental fatigue is characterized by a sense of working through a mental fog, of making mistakes because you can’t concentrate properly, of feeling befuddled. This one I definitely recognize! A simple way to address this is to intersperse periods of intense concentration, each forty-five minutes or so, with short time blocks of ‘low level’ activities, like email and social media of ten minutes duration. This way you stop the attention destroying activities getting in the way of work that needs intense concentration, and, you give yourself little ‘a change is as good as a rest’ breaks from the more demanding work. Taking regular breaks to attend to the ‘low level’ work also gives you a fighting chance of staying on top of it and reduces the worry that something is lurking in your email that really does need attention now.

Emotional Drain

This is characterized by feeling you have nothing left to give to others. To help reduce emotional tiredness, you can reduce contact with people who you find draining, open up to more re-energising people a bit more and to try not to compare yourself badly with other people ( a particular danger of mindless social media scrolling). Personally, I often find ‘transit time’, either spent actively in a restorative action like reading or spent passively gazing at the adverts on the Tube while my mind wanders, helps regather energy for the next interaction.

Social Tiredness

Social tiredness comes from effortful socialising, being with people with whom we feel we can’t be ourselves. This is a subtle but distinct difference from emotional tiredness. Many of us find ‘small talk’ exhausting: I used to refer to social tiredness, after a busy day or week working with strangers, as being ‘all peopled out’. However, the way to recuperate isn’t just to avoid people, but rather to spend time with people, usually friends and family, with whom we can be our unvarnished self. 

Sensory Overload

While you might think that sensory overload is only something neuro-diverse people suffer from, the fact is we are all susceptible to being overloaded with sensory input. For example, as we get older we may find that spending time in the noise and bustle of a busy market or bar, that we once failed to notice or even relished, no longer appeals or indeed leaves us in need of a lie-down in a darkened room! It also helps to positively notice and appreciate moments of quiet, or soothing images like a sunset.

Creative Exhaustion

In order to be creative we need space to think: minds all abuzz with to-do lists and deadlines can crowd out creative thinking. The way to get the creative juices flowing again is to build breaks into your days. Even a twenty-minute walk can help the crammed mind to find space. In general, focussing on something entirely different can give your brain enough of a holiday that it organises itself behind the scenes and creates ‘brain space’. I have been amazed how when I make myself set off on a walk along the river, convinced I don’t really have time for it, it changes things. I set off a cracking pace, only to find that as my mind starts freewheeling and ways forward on challenges present themselves, my pace slows. On my return to my desk I often feel as if I have more time, not less. It can be hard though when ‘in the grip’ of busyness, to make yourself take that break.

Spiritual Fatigue

We know we are in need of spiritual rest when life in general feels meaningless and pointless. We are restored spiritually when we feel really ‘seen’ by others, when we feel once again that we belong, that we are accepted, and most importantly, that life has meaning. For different people this will be provided by different activities: yoga or mindfulness, religion, or voluntary activities.

Physical Tiredness

This of course is the most familiar definition of tiredness. Physical tiredness doesn’t necessarily mean muscle fatigue from hard physical labour; long hours cramped over the computer can have adverse effects, causing tension and strain. What we need is incorporate small, but frequent, movement into our days. Little and often is the key here. This can be getting up and moving around, or just standing up and stretching, or even doing small movements sitting down. Working from home, I find it helpful to fit small household chores like emptying the dishwasher or hanging out the laundry into these mini-breaks: they give my brain a break as well as getting me to move about a bit.

Indebted to Emma Beddington’s article in the Guardian, who in turn interviewed Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith. A link to Dr Dalton-Smith’s free rest quiz is attached here. https://www.restquiz.com/quiz/rest-quiz-test

Other Resources

Sarah Lewis is the owner and principal psychologist of Appreciating Change. She is author of ‘Co-Creating Planning Teams For Dialogic OD’, ‘Positive Psychology in Business’ ‘Positive Psychology at Work’ and ‘Positive Psychology and Change’ both published by Wiley. She is also the lead author of 'Appreciative Inquiry for Change Management'.

APPRECIATING CHANGE CAN HELP

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organisations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership, Culture change and with employee Engagement.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715. A selection of strength card packs are available from our online store.

If you want to know more about implementing approaches and processes that positively affect people’s happiness, engagement, motivation, morale, productivity and work relationships, see Sarah’s positive psychology books.

More blog posts categorised as ‘Positive Psychology’ 

How a dose of humility helps leaders succeed

In our narcissistic world the idea that being humble can help us succeed sounds counter-intuitive. Isn’t being successful based on making sure our achievements get noticed?

Well yes, but humility, it turns out, brings some useful things to the party. Let’s start with a definition. A humble leader neither over-estimates nor under-estimates his or her ability to relate to other team members, holding instead a ‘just right’ view of themselves. This fits with lots of research supporting the importance of self-knowledge to successful leadership: we need to know, acknowledge and take responsibility for our towering strengths and our yawing weaknesses.

Creates space for others to develop

Humility shows itself in a focus on others rather than self, through interpersonal modesty, through teachability, and through a willingness to express appreciation of others. This relates humility to other research showing the power of appreciation to help others grow. And supports the idea that a good leader knows how and when to get themselves (or their ego!) ‘out of the way’ to allow others to thrive and grow.

Increases team resources

We assess someone’s degree of humility when we see how they handle conflict, negotiate ideas, deal with power differentials, use wealth, receive honour and engage with cultural differences. I think we can all imagine the kind of person we would rather be around when these situations arise. Demonstrating a degree of humility in these situations makes it easier for the other person, helping them to be at their best in a challenging situation. In this way a leader who is able to show humility increases the resources in their system by allowing others to find their voice and develop confidence, indeed to shine.

Supports good team relationships

Humility, it has been established, is an important relational nutrient that helps people work better together by helping to repair bonds when relationships have become strained. Eating humble pie is an important part of maintaining good relationships with other people and is strongly related with eliciting forgiveness and building trust and commitment. 

Enhances team performance

When a leader leads through example, but exhibiting appropriate humility, it encourages the whole team to relate to each other in a different, more humble way. They become more willing to evaluate themselves accurately, appreciate the strengths of other team members, and to learn from each other. All this in turn encourages enhanced team performance.

Complements leadership drive

Now here is the really interesting bit, research found that exceptional leaders who guide their companies into periods of productive growth and also successfully set them up to continue thriving after their departure, exhibit both drive and humility. What does humility add to drive to produce these exceptional results?

Enhances resilience

One theory is that humility helps to buffer some of the effects of competitiveness and drive, an excess of which is thought to contribute to the high rates of divorce, depression and burnout amongst successful leaders. Bringing humility into the mix allows for a balance of both competition and cooperation which enhances resilience. The humbleness acts to soften interpersonal relationships in such a way that the leader can engage in a highly competitive way without incurring the usual wear and tear on relationships. They are more supported and less isolated.

So, what does this mean for you?

As a leader

·      If you already have the strengths of humility recognize it as an asset, not an obstacle, to successful, resilience leadership

·      If you don’t yet have this as a strength, it may well be one to nurture

·      Learn to use it in appropriate situations

o   To strength the team

o   To repair any damage to relationships

o   To improve team performance

o   To help others be their best

o   To create virtuous circles of cooperation, ‘we’ not ‘I’ thinking that boosts team cohesiveness

As a consultant or coach

·      Recognize this as a potential leadership strength

·      Help your client become skilled in identifying situations that call for humility

·      Assist them in learning how to exercise humility skilfully

Our strengths packs the Langley Group VIA Cards and Positran Strengths cards both include further information on this strength, how to work with it and how to develop it further, as does Ryan Niemiec’s book Character Strength Interventions.

Much of the material in this article was drawn from Davis, Hook DeBlaere and Placeres (2017) in Oades, Steger, Delle Fave and Passmore: The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of The Psychology of Positivity and Strengths-Based Aproaches to Work. 

 Other Resources

Sarah Lewis is the owner and principal psychologist of Appreciating Change. She is author of ‘Co-Creating Planning Teams For Dialogic OD’, ‘Positive Psychology in Business’ ‘Positive Psychology at Work’ and ‘Positive Psychology and Change’ both published by Wiley. She is also the lead author of 'Appreciative Inquiry for Change Management'.

APPRECIATING CHANGE CAN HELP

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organisations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership, Culture change and with employee Engagement.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715. A selection of strength card packs are available from our online store.

If you want to know more about implementing approaches and processes that positively affect people’s happiness, engagement, motivation, morale, productivity and work relationships, see Sarah’s positive psychology books.

More blog posts categorised as ‘Leadership’

What Is The Most Effective Way To Achieve Organisational Change? New Research Results

Ever felt that the traditional approach to change doesn’t deliver the results you hoped? Wondered if there is a better way?  Well interestingly Bradley Hasting and Gavin Schwarz[i] recently published a lengthy paper comparing the effectiveness of two different approaches to organisational development. One is the traditional mode, known as diagnostic, and the other a more recently developed approach, championed particularly by Bushe and Marshak[ii], known as dialogic. 

Diagnostic vs Dialogic

The diagnostic mode is the traditional approach to change: gathering information, making a diagnosis, then planning and implementing an intervention. Diagnostic approaches are typically prescriptive and linear, recommending a sequential sets of activity. They are essentially a variant of Lewin’s orginal freeze, unfreeze, refreeze model of organisational development.

The dialogic mode refers to the large group, social constructionist approach to change like Appreciative Inquiry, Open Space and World Café. Dialogic processes follow newer theories of complexity science, suggesting that organizations are permanently in flux and change, and that the art of change is to help bottom level changes amplify and accumulate to become substantial changes over time.

The table below highlights the findings of the research. As you can see traditional, diagnostic methods alone didn’t do terribly well, reflecting in fact the commonly quoted figure that ‘70% of change efforts fail.’ Interestingly not only are dialogic approaches much more effective, but the most effective approach of all was to start with a diagnostic approach (that is to identify the topic and gather information) and then to oscillate with the dialogic approach. This approach delivered a 93% success rate – phenomenal!

How can we help organizations to reap the benefits of this joint approach?

 Help is at hand: The Bushe Marshak Institute has published a unique series of dialogic OD guidance books. Each book is written by an expert in the field. I am very pleased to have been asked to contribute one on working with dialogic teams, as below

 This book, distilled from my many years of helping organizations embrace dialogic approaches to change, such as appreciative inquiry, gives guidance from the point of entry through to setting up the first dialogic event. To take the planning group from their habitual diagnostic approach to something more dialogic, a lot needs to happen: this book explains what. The guidance is enlivened with a warts and all account of a less-than-prefect-but-we-got-there-in-the-end case-study. 

My experience of working in this blended way fully supports Hastings and Schwarz’s findings. Many of my assignments have come off the back of diagnostic activity such as staff surveys or customer feedback or performance assessments. While these create the awareness of a need for change, they don’t always create excitement, energy and motivation for the possibilities of the future; rather the emphasis can be on fixing the problem. Instead, taking the diagnostic as a springboard, I work dialogically using Appreciative inquiry and other approaches to creating better futures in an empowered and participative way. 

This book shares all the lessons I have learnt on how to help planning teams see the opportunity offered by more a dialogic approach, and grasp it, so opening up possibilities and exciting futures for their organizations.

Where can I learn more?

The Organizational Development Network is hosting a session on ‘Getting Ready for a Dialogic Intervention’ on Thursday October 7th at 1700 UK time. See details here

[i] Hastings and Schwarz (2021) Leading Change Processes for Success: A dynamic Application of Diagnostic and Dialogic Organisational Development. The Journal of Applied Behavioural Studies 1-29.

[ii] Bushe and Marshak (2015) Dialogic Organizational Development.Berrett-Koehler

Other Resources

Sarah Lewis is the owner and principal psychologist of Appreciating Change. She is author of ‘Co-Creating Planning Teams For Dialogic OD’, ‘Positive Psychology in Business’ ‘Positive Psychology at Work’ and ‘Positive Psychology and Change’ both published by Wiley. She is also the lead author of 'Appreciative Inquiry for Change Management'.

APPRECIATING CHANGE CAN HELP

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organisations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership, Culture change and with employee Engagement.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715. A selection of strength card packs are available from our online store.

If you want to know more about implementing approaches and processes that positively affect people’s happiness, engagement, motivation, morale, productivity and work relationships, see Sarah’s positive psychology books.

More blog posts categorised as ‘Emergent Change’

Some Challenges Posed by Hybrid Working and How We Can Meet Them

Hybrid working, for many a necessity induced by lockdown, is rapidly becoming a work pattern of choice for the future. Goldman Sachs are one of the few organizations so far to have declared against the trend with their boss David Solomon rejecting the idea of remote working, labelling it an “aberration”. The more common view seems to be that the working pattern has changed for good. Google, for example, expects 20% of staff to work from home permanently in future, while Microsoft is to make remote working a permanent option. This shift towards more flexible working patterns poses some tough questions for managers and leaders.

How is it being done?

1.     Who gets to work in a hybrid way?

An educational organisation I know identified this as a key question as staff began to return to working on the campus after the year of home based working. Each function’s stakeholders had different expectations of instant access, face-to-face contact. It was clear that the same offer of hybrid working couldn’t be made to all staff. How to decide? Nationwide answered this dilemma earlier this year, saying that the 13,000 of its staff who do not work in branches would be allowed to work from wherever they wanted, making for a very clear two-tier role-based system driven by a need for customer access. Is this a fair way to decide? Will staff agree? Which raises a key challenge, whatever route forward is decided, how to ensure it is fair?

2.     How to make it fair?

We know that people’s experience of working from home during lockdown has been highly variable. Some have really appreciated it while for others it’s been a seemingly endless struggle of juggling demands and battling technology. Estate agents report that many people have moved out of the city centres, thrilled at green spaces and lower rents while others, it seems, have experienced extreme pressure on their mental health from isolation or family pressures, and can’t wait to get back to the order and sociability of office life. Any system that assumes the impact of a move to permanent hybrid working is the same for everyone, is unlikely to be perceived as fair.

3.     What will the impact be for the organization?

The big advantages of everyone coming into a central working space tend to be relative ease of communication and information flow (I did say relative!). It is easy to reconfigure the network as needed: call everyone together, split them into small groups, create ad hoc spaces for people to meet and congregate. In this way information snippets get passed on while relationships are stoked and nurtured. Virtual platforms do their best, but they are not the same. The hybrid organization will have to pay special attention to the challenges of connection and communication. It is very easy for those remote from the buzzing centre to miss out on accidental conversations and to quickly feel they’re out of the loop. Once they start feeling disconnected, they can quickly start disconnecting.

4.     How to ensure equality of access to opportunity?

Many of the benefits and perks of working can involve being in the right place at the right time to seize an opportunity, whether that’s an opening to meet a client, a chance to go to a trade show, or an invitation to give a presentation at a meeting. If you hear your colleague or boss fretting about being unable to be in two places at once, you can make the offer to help out. Face to face training sessions often have incidental network boosting benefits that can be nurtured and developed in the coffee break. We can beam colleagues in for the training but enabling them to roam freely in the breaks is impossible to replicate. How to ensure that the more remote workers don’t become out of sight, out of mind when a career-enhancing opportunity arises unexpectedly?

5.     How to ensure hybrid-working doesn’t become hybrid-washing?

It’s no secret that large organizations have spotted a money saving opportunity. HSBC, the UK’s biggest bank, is moving to a hybrid model and plans to cut its property footprint by as much as 40% in the long term, while Lloyds Banking Group has said it will bring in working from home as a permanent lifestyle change, allowing it to cut 20% of its office space. Who will benefit from these savings? It is important that organizations are honest that their motivations to elevate hybrid working from an emergency fix to a modus operandi are multiple and varied and not solely driven by a desire to increase flexibility for staff, if they want the initiative to maintain credibility.

6.     How will the organization continue to develop?

There has been a move over the last thirty odd years to recognize organizations as systems and to work with them as such. Approaches such as Appreciative Inquiry and Dialogic OD are predicated on the benefits of getting the whole system together to address development challenges and opportunities as an inter-connected, inter-dependent living system. How can this be done if people aren’t able to gather in the same physical space?

What helps?

1.     Pay attention to perceptions of fairness

Equity theory and research has made it plain that perception of fairness is key to feeling fairly treated; and that are perceptions of fairness are made by comparison by those around us. We compare what we put and what we get in return against what we see others put in and receive. We also value different things, and so experience their loss or gain differently. My son, who regards work as a necessary evil and values his leisure time highly, had to continue to go into work during lockdown and thought it mightily unfair that many of his mates were on furlough. Many of them though, were bored and lonely, drifting from day to day and would rather have been busy with work. All this means that while stakeholder expectations might dictate who can work away from the central office, attention will need to be paid to the specific impact for individuals. The greater the choice individuals have in accepting changes in their working patterns, the more individual preferences can be accommodated, and the greater the attention paid to perceptions of fairness, then the greater the likelihood of maintaining good motivation and morale.

2.     Make the shift from thinking of physical place to virtual space for development activities

One of the big adjustments for organisational development practitioners was how to run team development, training sessions or organisational change processes in an online environment.  We gathered and shared information on resources and apps and learnt that it was different, but it could be done. Consultant Gwen Stirling-Wilkins moved from thinking that bringing groups together to host and facilitate transformative change was unlikely to be productive, or effective, to writing a book about her experiences of successfully doing just this, leading and delivering a transformational project entirely online with 600+ people from five organizations, none of whom she ever met physically. Her book ‘From Physical Place to Virtual Space’ pulls together all her learning as a pioneer and is highly recommended.

3.     Make use of new online tools to enhance the online environment

There is an explosion of apps attempting to humanise the virtual workspace. From a psychology perspective I want to mention Deckhive, an online training app that has a fantastic and growing set of cards to support all sorts of training and development activity. The card sets include strengths, positive organisational development, motivation, creativity, coaching questions and emotions. They are useful for online coaching, performance reviews, career counselling, team development, training sessions and even organisational development. Moving, flipping and sorting cards on a virtual tabletop is as near as you can get to physically manipulating cards. I find it invaluable in making training sessions as experiential as possible.

4.     Pay attention to the rewards in the environment

There are rewards associated with social environments: smiles, verbal strokes (appreciation, thanks, compliments), shared laughter, physicality, shared non-verbal communication (winks, raised eyebrows, complicit smiles), acts of generosity (‘oh I’ll get these’ at the coffee bar). All these little incidental ‘blips’ of positive emotion have an effect on our sense of mood, wellbeing and morale. It is this continuous drip-feed of mood boosting interactions that is difficult to replicate in a virtual environment. Conscious effort needs to be made to introduce jokes, quizzes, rounds of positive news sharing and other mood boosting and rewarding activities into the online environment. And take a ten-minute break every fifty minutes minimum, if you want to maintain online energy.

5.     Review and revise

For many organizations going hybrid so extensively is going to be a new experience. Treat it as an experiment. Don’t assume you are going to get, or have got, it right first time. As the pressure on everyone to work from home all the time lessens, take time to discover what you, as an organization, have learnt so far about what works and what doesn’t. Plan how to build on that, then review how the new arrangements are working for everyone after six months: is the work pattern working for clients and stakeholders? Does the new work pattern feel fair? Is everyone getting fair exposure to opportunity? How are the work patterns impacting the organization (look for the unexpected consequences, good and bad) How are they impacting individual, team and organisational growth and development?

The shift over the last twelve months to hybrid working patterns has been emergency driven and ad hoc in execution. We have the opportunity now, as the ship steadies, of transforming them into intentional, strategic, thought-through beneficial ways of working that offer a win-win for people and the organization. This won’t happen by accident or by assuming what’s worked for the last twelve months will be good enough for the next. Instead we need to take stock, learn, re-negotiate the possible and launch pro-active plans that recognize the complexity of the opportunity, and the challenges it holds.

Other Resources

Sarah Lewis is the owner and principal psychologist of Appreciating Change. She is author of ‘Positive Psychology in Business’ ‘Positive Psychology at Work’, ‘Positive Psychology and Change’ and most recently ‘Co-creating Planning Teams For Dialogic OD’. She is also the lead author of 'Appreciative Inquiry for Change Management'.

APPRECIATING CHANGE CAN HELP

Appreciating Change is skilled and experienced at supporting leaders in working in this challenging, exciting and productive way with their organisations. Find out more by looking at how we help with Leadership, Culture change and with employee Engagement.

For further information on these alternative approaches to change, please contact us or phone 07973 782 715. A selection of strength card packs are available from our online store.

If you want to know more about implementing approaches and processes that positively affect people’s happiness, engagement, motivation, morale, productivity and work relationships, see Sarah’s positive psychology books.

More blog posts categorised as ‘Coronavirus’